History of Us: Sweet Delusions 1 Eternal Lingering
by ajremix
Summary: History of Us Arc, after during Walking Ghosts. See the world filtered through the lines of your mind, watch as it all becomes clear. Freeze, Snake


Sweet Delusion 1 Eternal Lingering By: Lady Virgo  
  
"C'mon, wake up!" He was jostled by the shoulders as if the place were about to erupt around him. "We're late!"  
  
"Ngh..." He said intelligently.  
  
"Freeze!" He was bodily hauled out of bed. "Wake up, dammit!"  
  
He cracked open his eyes slightly, watching as the floor passed beneath him. He felt himself lifted. Then found most of his upper torso hanging out of his second story window. "OKAY! I'm up, I'm UP!"  
  
"Che." He let Freeze fall to the floor. "'Bout time. You sleep like the dead." He walked out of the room. "Get ready, we don't have much time."  
  
The small adrenaline rush left him as quick as it came and Freeze groggily shook his head. Times like this, he thought, his brother really was a jerk.  
  
It didn't take him long to get ready and when he headed to the kitchen, his younger brother had already wolfed down his food. Freeze's own plate waited for him. Also at the table was a big box of cereal and under, a little pair of legs kicked patiently. He slid the box away and a little face beamed up at him.  
  
"Good morning, Freeze-ni!"  
  
He smiled. "Good morning, Sierra." He long ceased to be surprised that she could easily distinguish between the two brothers she had never before seen, having been born blind. "Where's Slash?"  
  
"Saying bad things to his tie again." She grabbed another spoonful of cereal, which was rapidly becoming nothing but sugar-slugged milk.  
  
"You'd think he'd know how to put one on by now." He frowned at the little girl. "You'll make yourself sick off that stuff."  
  
"I'm fine. And Slash-ni never ties it, anyway. Your breakfast, nisan." She pointed out.  
  
"Un. Right."  
  
"Here." A hand took the jammed up toast and shoved it in Freeze's mouth. "You'll have to eat on the run. We only have 10 minutes.  
  
"Hrmph."  
  
Slash went to the other side of the table and gave Sierra an one- armed. "See you later, Sierra."  
  
"Un." She smiled brilliantly. Unless one could look behind Slash's harsh exterior and Freeze's barrier of silence, it would seem amazing that she was, in any way, related to the two. "Take care."  
  
"You, too." Freeze paused to kiss her head. "I'll pick you up after school."  
  
"Okay, Freeze-ni. Bye!"  
  
They waved as they put on their shoes. Grabbing their bags, they stepped out the door.  
  
And took off sprinting.  
  
"ARRRGH! I can't believe we're this late!" Already Slash was a good distance ahead. "Why are you always so hard to wake up!?"  
  
"I wouldn't be if you didn't keep me up all night." Freeze mumbled around his breakfast. "Geh, I hate apple jelly."  
  
"It was all we had. Besides," he glared over his shoulder, untied tie weaving through his long spikes of hair, "you didn't tell me we had a test in Social Science until dinner! It's your fault!"  
  
They were barely ten months apart and ever since Sierra came into the picture 9 years ago, they were forced to share a room. Which led to many interesting arguments. Their mother had passed away after giving birth to Sierra (a month premature) and they rarely saw their father, only trusting that he brought in money and took their baby sister to school in the mornings.  
  
"Ah! There's the gate!"  
  
"We've got two minutes, we won't make it!"  
  
"Like hell!" Slash fell back, grabbing onto Freeze's wrist. "All or nothing!" With a roar, warning all lingering students to get the hell out of his way, Slash's legs blurred and Freeze nearly felt his own feet come off the ground.  
  
The gates pounded closer at a frightening speed.  
  
"OOORRAAAAAA!!!"  
  
He dove through the gates, jerking Freeze painfully after him. The older boy felt the gate clip the toe of his shoe before they tumbled into the courtyard. They lay, panting on their backs while the other students around them clapped in awe.  
  
"Told you... we'd... make it."  
  
"Sh...Shut up...."  
  
Painfully, Slash sat up. "C'mon.... only five minutes to... get to class." Saying nothing more than a groan, Freeze picked himself up.  
  
Che. He dusted himself off irritably. Now my uniform's all dirty.  
  
"Worry later. C'mon!"  
  
He'd have to get him back for this. Seriously.  
  
They went up the stairs at a more leisurely pace though the urgency was still in their steps. Their homeroom was on the second deck and as they passed the first landing, the vice-principal glared at them.  
  
"You're late." He growled. Freeze saw Slash's shoulders tense.  
  
"We're inside the gates." Came the sharp retort. "And I'm sure you don't want us explaining to the teacher that you made us late by falsely accusing us."  
  
The old man narrowed his eyes but stepped asides. "Tie that thing properly. Brat." His answer was fingered back over a passing shoulder.  
  
It worried Freeze how much Slash and Vice-Principal Wily hated each other. The man (he had a Ph.D., but no one really knew in what) got on Slash about anything. The fact that he never put a knot of any sort in his tie, just leaving it to hang around his neck, or the foot long length of belt that dangled from the buckle. The length of his hair, how spiky he kept it, his attitude, how he carried himself. Anything he could, Wily complained about. And the worse part was, he kept comparing Slash to his brother who was polite, quiet, did what he was told. His hair was short, his shirt and belt properly tucked, tie immaculate.  
  
But, and Slash took great pride in this, though he obviously didn't care about his classes, he always had high grades and would rub it in Wily's face any time exam scores came out, consistently in the top five while Freeze would barely squeeze into the first 20. And the fact that the other boys had dubbed him the Lion of Zugaiyou Boy's Academy burned Wily up. Because it meant that they took pride in someone like Slash being in their school and even their fear of getting into trouble wouldn't allow someone like Wily to throw him out without a very good reason.  
  
And, oddly enough, that fact made Freeze happy, as well. Even if the attention and nickname annoyed the hell out of Slash.  
  
They hurried down the corridor and before they could pull back the door to their room, it slid open for them, their homeroom teacher on the other side.  
  
Then the bell rang.  
  
"Congratulations." Elec said. "You're late."  
  
"If you didn't surprise us by just standing there, we would've been on time!" Slash snarled. The day was not going well.  
  
The older man, though, grinned. "Get in, I won't mark you." There was a snort. "Not after that impressive nose-dive into the courtyard, anyway."  
  
Freeze flushed as several others snickered.  
  
"Quick, take attendance and collect the reports." Elec said as he turned to put the lesson plan on the board. Nodding, the class rep walked to the front of the class, calling out the roster and picking up their papers as he went.  
As his name was called, Freeze stood, handing in his report. Sitting back at his desk, he took out his planner to check the week. Slash often teased him about being so organized, but then his older brother would calmly point out that /he/ was the one that always had to remind the other of upcoming tests.  
Nothing of much importance was on the schedule, he noted. Though the week was filled with red-inked notes (which were for Slash), the blonde would be busy helping out the track and field and kenpo teams. He wasn't an official member, but he always managed to get roped in (even in junior high) to help out whenever the tournaments came up. The price of being athletic, Freeze supposed. He wasn't part of any after-school group, himself, though he tried to sit in during the science team meetings when he got the chance.  
Not this week, he thought somewhat sadly. With Slash busy, I'm going to have to take Sierra home every day.  
Not that he thought his little sister a liability. It just got kind of lonely when you didn't get much of a chance to make friends.  
As Elec began to talk, Freeze pushed his planner aside in favor of his notebook. When he opened it up, though, he found a folded note inside of it, his name on the front. He blinked, not remembering it there before and opened it up.  
'Go to the rooftop during break. I'll wait for you there.'  
It wasn't signed but Freeze didn't have to look around to guess who it was. Lips in a thin line, he refolded the note carefully. He wasn't sure what he was needed for now, but inside he twisted, afraid.  
  
///  
  
"You're not hurt, are you?"  
"No."  
There was a tsk. "He's an idiot." His words hissed a bit. He said it was because he had fangs, but some of the others (Shade, Forte, even Slash) didn't hiss around their 'fangs' when they spoke. "You should've just taken the tardy lecture."  
"Vice-principal Wily gives the lecture. Slash doesn't need to deal with him more than he has to."  
There was a silence that said someone was far from happy and someone else was far from comfortable. Finally, he walked up to Freeze, toe against toe and still only eye-level to Freeze's chin. And yet, with those narrowed, citrus eyes, he seemed to be staring down at him. Not in claims that he was better, just in a way that made Freeze feel that he had done something wrong.  
"I won't let him hurt you." He said evenly. "If it were my choice, Bastard the Barbarian wouldn't even go anywhere near you."  
"Don't call him that." Freeze said quietly.  
"He's lucky to have you as his brother. He's lucky he can even go to the same school as you. But that dumbass just abuses you and you don't do anything about it!"  
"Please." He said again. "Don't call him that."  
The other leaned in even closer, pushing Freeze up against the wall. Overwhelming.  
"You belong with me. I won't let anyone do a /thing/ to you."  
"Snake." The shorter boy pulled back, looking towards the door. "He's coming."  
With a sneer, he nodded. The other boy, Skull, held open the door, waiting patiently. With a last flicker towards Freeze, Snake followed his companion down the stairs. Just as Slash was coming up.  
In an amazing display of restraint, Snake and Slash merely exchanged vicious looks as they passed each other. Once on the rooftop, he spotted Freeze and hurried toward him.  
"Freeze!" His deep voice was a growl, almost like a shout. "Dammit, what were you doing with that guy? You /know/ to stay away from him!"  
The other looked away, sullen mask falling in to place. "Sorry."  
" 'Sorry'. Every time it's always fucking '/sorry/'. Why do you-" with clenched teeth, he slowly rubbed a hand over his face. For a moment, Freeze thought he'd continue the age-old argument ('you always say 'sorry', so why don't you just stop being his fucking /dog/, Freeze? Why do you keep letting him near you when you know he'll just cause you trouble?') but Slash put his hands on his hips. "Just, forget it, okay? You apparently don't care about what I say."  
"That's not true." He said, a slight too quickly.  
"Then why do you-" he cut himself off again. "FUCK IT!" Slash threw his hands in the air. "..Let's just get to class."  
Quietly, Freeze followed his brother down the stairs.  
He knew why Slash didn't want him around Snake. Not just because he's a 'sadistic little bastard', but because of the group he fell in with. The Enforcers.  
Principal Light didn't originally approve of the militia-esque group until Wily had sold him on the thought of something akin to a 'neighborhood watch' in the school. The Enforcers could handle the little problems, could see things the higher-ups couldn't. One of the more respected teachers was appointed to head this team and everything started out smoothly. Until the transfer student, Magnet, shifted the tides of power.  
There were rumors that there was some sort of relationship between Magnet and Pharaoh, which would explain how he had the teacher wrapped around his little finger. In all accounts, Pharaoh was still in charge of the Enforcers except for where it really counted: power. With Magnet pulling the strings, the group abused its privileges and Pharaoh covered everything up. That was why kids like Snake and Skull and Flash were in the Enforcers. To have power, to be feared and- most importantly -to get whatever (whoever) they wanted.  
Snake had his eye on Freeze. Slash was going to bar his way any chance he got.  
And Freeze was in the middle without a clue.  
The board eraser bounced off his head, bringing Freeze back to the real world.  
"Don't nod off in the middle of a lesson. That's very rude." Metal said dryly. "Pass the eraser back up."  
Sheepish and blushing, Freeze leaned down to retrieve the item. The others snickered at him. Slash rolled his eyes.  
Snake was watching him oddly.  
Resolutely, Freeze focused on his literature book. He wasn't the sort to drift off during a class and Metal- though a more down-to-earth instructor than some of his counterparts -always managed to keep the class interesting and informative. But it was the subject he hated most. Language and grammar never liked him so he never liked them either. It was the only class where he had to force himself not to think about other things.  
Which didn't always work.  
Fidgeting with his pencil, he cast a quick glance at his watch. He had a feeling this was going to be a long day.  
  
///  
  
It starting raining during lunch, a sudden downpour that half drowned anyone it caught. Freeze was running an errand when it hit and he ducked the storage shed by the gym. He doubted it would end before classes began again, but he figured a he'd give it a chance. Maybe find something he could use as a shield while he was at in.  
Moving towards the back of the shed, he heard a faint noise. Sidling quietly around a cage of basketballs, he squinted his eyes, trying to see in the dark. There, a shadow against the shadows, he could barely see a form. Two forms, joined and writhing carefully against each other. One of them broke away from the joining, tossing his head back, panting and trying to bite back moans as the other moved down his body.  
Feeling his cheeks growing hot, Freeze backed carefully away, double checking his steps so he wouldn't disturb the.. the pair.  
He closed the doors quietly, thankful for the overhang and just listened to the fall of the rain. And, somehow, he couldn't get the overwhelming feeling of loneliness out of his heart. He noticed a slight smell of burning and turned around. Sitting on a trashcan, cigarette between his lips, was Snake.  
"Yo." He said softly. He didn't seem a thing like his usual self, no vibrant energy, childish grin or quick temper. Just him and the rain, similarly quiet and constant.  
"What are you doing out here?" Freeze asked. The flush had left his cheeks and he could feel the cold of the rain. He took a step closer to the other boy, as if the heat of the burning cigarette could keep him warm.  
"I /was/ keeping watch. Now I'm just trying to keep dry."  
Freeze's eyes flickered toward the door. "Who-"  
"Flash and Plant." Snake took the cigarette from his lips and tapped the ash off the end before he placed it back again. "Had another one of their spats again this morning. Everyone else boned me into being their 'make-up sex watch'." He grinned, a faint echo of him usual, maniacal smile. "Lucky me, huh?"  
"Then why didn't you stop me? Were you even there?"  
"I was here. I saw you come in from the rain." He shrugged. "But I knew you wouldn't have done anything stupid. Besides, they don't really care who sees them. This is just to keep from any one important from stumbling in on them."  
There was a silence that stretched between them. Snake didn't make any inclination to fill it, or even seem to notice the other for that matter. Freeze wondered if his change in attitude meant he felt the same loneliness when he had to be near something like that.  
Softly, Freeze asked, "Why are they together if all they do is fight?"  
"That's just them." He removed his cigarette again. Didn't tap it, didn't stamp it out, just let it roll between his knuckles. "They're both willful and have their own ideas of what's right. The only thing they seem to agree on is wanting to be with each other. But that's the way it is, you know?" He reached between his legs and pushed open the flap to the bin, letting the smoldering stick fall inside. "Even if you do want someone to be happy, you also want what's best for them. That's the part they have problems with."  
Freeze flickered a disapproving look at his action, worried a fire might get started. Snake either didn't notice or didn't care. He slid off his perch and approached Freeze, open face uncharacteristically serious. Again he stopped within an inch of the taller boy.  
"Do you hate me?"  
Startled at the unexpectedness of.. everything, he blinked. "What?"  
"Do you hate me?" Freeze tried to look away, but Snake just bent back into his vision. "If you said you hated me, what do you think I'd do?"  
His chest clenched painfully and his mind tried to find a way out of this. The bell rang. "W-We better get back to class." He didn't know why he was panicking, all he knew was he had to get away.  
A dark look passed through Snakes eyes, but he turned around and jumped back on his original perch. "You go. I got a watch to keep."  
"But-"  
"Don't worry about me. I can take a yelling at." He reached down and pulled out a broken down cardboard box that leaned against the trashcan, tossing to Freeze. "Here. It'll keep you dry until you get to class. Don't tell the teacher where I am, you'll get in trouble for not bringing me back." That said, he leaned against the wall and watched the rain, as if he had forgotten that Freeze was there at all.  
He bowed his head thankfully, unable to find the voice to speak. Holding the box over his head, he ran to the main building.  
Freeze made it class in time for the second bell, his favorite class: anatomy. Slash had talked about him being a doctor with how much he loved the class, but every time, Freeze would reject the idea, claiming that they were too poor for any impossible dreams.  
Snake didn't show up until 10 minutes after, thoroughly soaked and dripping wherever he'd get in the most trouble for. When their instructor asked where he had been, he just smirked and said, "having a good fuck."  
The class snickered. Freeze felt himself blush and looked away.  
At the dirty look he received from his teacher, the short boy just grinned wider. "What? I was just getting prepared for class, is all!"  
"Sit down." Crystal commanded. He didn't have the temperament to deal with kids like him beyond- more or less -ignoring them.  
Freeze didn't watch as he sat down. He was doing everything he could to keep from watching.  
  
///  
  
It was still raining by the time school ended. In fact, lightening was cracking the clouds in the distance and rolling closer. For a long moment Freeze just stood at the main entrance of the school, watching as the rain came down so fast, it just seemed to be a dark gray day.  
Slash had left earlier, having gotten a call that Sierra had come down with a fever. He had to smile somewhat bitterly. No matter what was going on, Slash would always drop everything for Sierra, he would always be the first at her side. Freeze didn't know which one he was most envious of. To need someone, to be needed by someone, he felt like a secondary character in both their lives.  
He took a step into the world, pelted by the drops and soaked before he even reached the gate. Freeze thought he should be running, or at least be moving at a quicker pace, but just couldn't find the energy to.  
A quarter of the way back to his house the thunder was crackling through the ground, the lightening was getting closer. He bit his lip, standing in the rain for a minute. Then, following his better judgement, decided to wait out the storm in at least a relatively dry area. Somewhere where he wouldn't get struck by lightening, anyway.  
He knew this area relatively well. He remembered when he was little he used to play hide-and-seek and tag with the twins Quick and Crash. Freeze couldn't help but smile, remember how Slash used to pick on Crash for never talking. Now he got pissed because Crash never shut up. Walking down the street, he wondered what happened in the years that split the two pairs apart. Even though they were in the same class, the only interaction they seemed to have anymore was merely between Quick and Slash and only because Quick was captain of the track and field team and would recruit Slash's speed.  
Ah, his eyes lit up when he found that old shed. Just like how he remembered it. No one used it, no one really knew who it belonged to. When they were kids, when there were four of them, they used this as a fort. When they grew older and they started to drift, Freeze still went there. Sometimes to remember, sometimes to forget. Now he went in to be safe.  
There were still items in there from those long ago years. Things that seemed dumb now were once treasures to a child. Picking through the items, he found a neglected sheet. Shaking out the dust and moths- coughing against the settled years -he figured it would do enough to keep him warm. The weather wasn't cold, nor was the rain, but once the water on his skin started to evaporate, his body heat would drop. Wrapping himself in the sheet, he was prepared to wait for as long as he had to.  
Someone was stumbling towards the shed, unsteady in the rain.  
Freeze shot to his feet, his first thought was Slash but it was quickly dismissed at the shortness of the person's stature. He thought maybe it was Quick or Crash, maybe even that new Shadow kid Quick hung around with- it was short enough to be him (that was the reason, Freeze belatedly thought, because Slash didn't like the 'closeness' of his and Quick's relationship).  
But as the person shook themselves off under the protection of the roof, he shook out his dark brown hair, pushing it out of his eyes with red lens goggles.  
Snake grinned up at Freeze. "Yo."  
"S-Snake." He suddenly felt cold. "What are you doing here? Isn't your home the other way?"  
"Nah, don't like going home." He unbuttoned his shirt, wringing it out and tossed it somewhere to dry. His undershirt was just soaked. "No one there. Gets really boring. I saw you going off on your own. You seemed like you didn't want to be alone, so," he grinned widely, "I figured we could be not alone together."  
Freeze didn't say anything. He didn't have to. His expression said it for him.  
Snake huffed. "I know what you're thinking. You got all the trash Bastard the Barbarian told you running through your head."  
"Don't call him that." Was the quiet reply.  
"Look," with little preamble, Snake ruffled his hair in thought and then went to where Freeze leaned against the wall, squatting in front of him. "I'm gonna tell you this straight up because this is really starting to get annoying." He pointed to the taller boy. "I like you. I like you a lot. I'll admit that I'm hot for your body, but I also like you for you."  
Freeze's brow furrowed at the suddenness. "What?"  
To his surprise, Snake seemed to be blushing. "I like you, all right! Maybe it's love, maybe it's just lust, I don't care! All I know is that I really like you and it's driving me crazy because your brother keeps getting in my way and telling you stupid things. It wouldn't matter if you didn't believe him. It wouldn't even matter if you believed him and hated me! But," Snake looked away, bright green eyes a dull gray in the dim lighting, "but sometimes I look at you and I think that you might like me back. But your head keeps getting in the way and it really, really hurts. Because I don't know what you're thinking and I don't know what to do around you."  
"You.. like me?"  
"Yes! We're passed that part already!" Snake didn't mean to snap, he knew, but he was clearly uncomfortable with this discussion.  
"But..why?"  
" 'Why'?" One of Snake's fangs poked out as he scowled. "You don't have to worry about why I like you. Just keep being you, you're obviously doing something I like."  
They sat in silence for a while, knees almost touching. Then, Freeze asked, "Why are you telling me this now?"  
"I really wanted to know when I asked earlier. What do you think I'd do if you said you hate me?" He peered into Freeze's blue eyes, gleaming like dawn through ice. There was only a solemn determination in Snake's eyes. "You think I'd hurt you, don't you? You think I'd attack you, or the other Enforcers would. Or you're afraid I'd say that I didn't care and just kept harassing you. Am I wrong?"  
Freeze didn't think he could lie to Snake. Not like this. He shook his head.  
"I couldn't do that to you." Freeze looked up at Snake, surprised at the softness in his expression. "If you hate me, then say so. I'll leave you alone. I'll tell the others to leave you alone." He moved in an inch closer, just short of breaching personal space. Freeze became hyper aware of the wall at his back. "Do you? Or is it just because he hates me?"  
"Th-That's not.it."  
"Then what is?"  
"I.." Freeze hesitated, "want him to be happy."  
It was louder than the thunder, the sound of Snake's hands slamming on the wall on either side of Freeze. "What about /you/!?" He could see the entirety of Snake's fangs. "What about what makes /you/ happy?"  
"If he's happy, so am I."  
With a snort, the shorter boy pushed away. "You look pretty fuckin' miserable to me." Freeze winced. Rarely Snake cursed, only in anger and Freeze didn't want to think he was angry with him. "So you'll be happy by living your life to your brother's expectations. You'll be satisfied by being someone's else's person."  
The silence was heavy, thick with broken splatter of rain. The thunder rolled back into the clouds.  
"..No."  
It was so low, Snake had barely heard it.  
"What?" He asked, voice hushed as if he were afraid he'd frighten Freeze's shaking courage.  
"No. I don't want to be someone's doll." His hands were clenched, telling himself it was okay. "I don't want to live without my own desires. I don't want to be only someone else's and not my own self." Snake sat quietly as Freeze's mind began to slowly pour out. "I want dreams, I want desires, I want to be able to pursue and catch hopes just like anyone else. I want to be no one's but mine." He let his words go. "I want.."  
Snake grabbed his hands, cold from the rain.  
"I want.."  
He could see in Snake's eyes that he was on the verge of something that could free him. Something wonderful, something terrifying and Freeze desperately grasped at it with all his might.  
"I.."  
And then a face came into his mind and the borders scattered.  
"I can't." Freeze pulled his hands away, unaware how long he had fallen silent. Unaware that tears had come to him. "I can't. He'll hate me, I can't."  
Snake took hold of him by the shoulders. "Don't." He growled, eyes glowing slightly. "Don't let him stop you. Don't let him hold you back."  
"He's my brother." Freeze whispered. "I'd do anything for him."  
"He'd do anything for you, too!" His grip was tight. "I'm not stupid! I know how much he cares about you! Your happiness means everything to him." Freeze could feel the bruises beginning to form, Snake was so much stronger than his size led people to believe. "Even if he is a psycho homophobe, he won't disown you! You and your sister are all that he has and he won't let you go!"  
"I want to be with you." He admitted quietly. "You care for me, you do anything you can for me and I want to be with you, but I'm so afraid.."  
"Freeze.," gently Snake lifted his chin, the tears in Freeze's eyes looked like liquid crystals. "For everything he's done for you, do you really think he'll hate you wanting to be happy?"  
"..I don't know.."  
"Freeze," he said again, a little more forcefully. "Do you really think he'll hate you?"  
And he remembered. He remembered how he tried to help with his brother's pain. Remembered how Slash was always there to protect him, even at the cost of his own health. Remembered how Slash always confined in him. And he remembered clearly:  
"I'd do anything to make you happy. Anything. Even if it's something stupid or something I don't like, if it makes you happy, that's all that matters."  
Lightening flashed outside and burned Freeze's eyes, just like something else.  
And he remembered again.  
Freeze put a hand to his head. "I... This isn't real, is it?"  
"No." Snake said truthfully.  
"I died, didn't I?"  
"Yes."  
"Tachypsycia." He let out something similar to a laugh. "The second before death where the mind creates a world out of dreams and longings, stretching forever." He looked away sadly. "I thought it only happened to living creatures."  
"You thought the same about death."  
"So I did."  
"But," Snake pulled him close, "you've realized the truth."  
"But it's too late. I can't do anything now. Everything was wasted. My entire existence..."  
"But you know it now and that should count for something." He put a hand against Freeze's pale cheeks, watching as the tears gathered around his fingers. "Isn't it better to know, even in the light of death? Or would you have been satisfied without knowing?"  
Slowly he shook his head. "I was afraid Slash would hate me."  
"You've done so much for each other. Even if it hurt him, he would never stand in the way of your happiness. You know that."  
"I know... But I was still afraid."  
"It's okay, everyone gets frightened of something."  
They sat for sometime, forehead braced forehead, warmed by their intermingling heartbeats. Freeze thought it was somewhat amusing, hearing the hearts of two people that weren't real. Eventually, though, his unfettered heart told him it was time to let go.  
With a small smile, he looked at Snake, watching the light from outside, over his childish face. Feeling the gentle pressure of Freeze's eyes, the dark haired boy opened his eyes, brushing back tears from Freeze's cheek once more.  
Outside, lightning struck the ground and its bright bolt connected the sky to the earth. The bright heat grew larger and brighter.  
"Even though you're not really him, I want to tell you." Freeze smiled brokenly through his misted eyes, the heat starting to wash away the shed. "I really do love you."  
And Snake gave him back that same, bittersweet smile as the light engulfed the two of them. "He really loves you, too. They both do." 


End file.
